If I was being honest…

What would you say if you were being honest? I would tell you: I have been overeating for weeks. Pride. Disgust. Numb. I ate 575 calories one day, 800 the next. Then back to overeating. Disappointment. Fear. Disgust. I bought another scale yesterday. Hope. Control. Relief. I ate Taco Bell AND McDonald’s for dinner last…

What matters.

What’s been my biggest security blanket/enemy in my relationship with Ana? The scale. For nine months, JJ and my best friend, as well as my treatment team, have begged me to get rid of it and I refused.┬áToday, I told Jesse to get rid of it, and here’s why. For months, I weighed myself methodically…

THE NUMBER.

The first weekend pass that I went to my house, I didn’t think to weigh myself. I can’t believe it. JJ brought it up after the fact and I was shocked I hadn’t thought of it. Be sure, though, that it didn’t leave my mind from that moment until my next opportunity. JJ had hidden…