How to conquer “fear foods”

Are there foods you don’t allow yourself to have because you fear you’ll lose control or feel guilty? This is how you can conquer your fear foods once and for all!

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Body acceptance & diet culture – you can’t have both.

As a patient in treatment for anorexia, I had a classic paradox: mistrustful and compliant. Ana takes away the ability to trust anyone except her. She convinced me that my treatment team just wanted me to gain weight, but they didn’t really care about me. I doubted every piece of information they gave me, whether […]

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Anorexia, recovery, and privilege

Eating disorders do not discriminate, but what about the idea of having privilege to have an ed? Or having privilege in order to recover?

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The Recovery Food Pendulum

How many of you recognize this pattern as something you have engaged in, for perhaps many years? SWING INTO RESTRICTIVE EATING! Track calories, restrict fun foods, exercise to burn whatever fun foods I screw up and eat, track more calories, BLAST myself mentally. If I eat anything “bad”, I’m a bad person. If I eat, […]

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Jesse’s Girl: Support in Recovery

So, the song goes, “I wish that I had Jessie’s girl,” because some dude is lusting after his friend’s woman. This post isn’t so much about that. In my head that song is more like other girls singing, “I wish that I was Jesse’s Girl” because let me tell you, my man is the good […]

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Want to #feelallthefeels? Try this…

Have you ever realized when you say, “I feel fat,” that can’t possibly be true? In daytime treatment, at nearly every meal, this conversation took place: Therapist: How do you feel? Client: I feel fat. Therapist: Fat is not a feeling. How do you feel? Client (in their head): As a person with anorexia… I […]

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After 40 years, God showed up.

So, Jesus and me. We have had a long and winding journey. I followed Jesus as a Christian for 15 years, from age 14-29. Highlights of this time include: Being at church 5-7 days per week during high school Going to a tiny Baptist university in Arkansas Going to Africa as a missionary for two […]

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The power of a doughnut.

Last March, I went to Las Vegas for a conference. I was at my deepest point in anorexia, at my lowest weight and terrified of everything. My biggest fear about going to the conference was the food. What would I eat? Would I be able to stay disciplined? Could I possibly return home at the […]

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