10 Truths about Recovery

The #1 question I hear in the eating disorder community is: “How do I recover?” That’s it. People suffering from an eating disorder want OUT, but don’t know how. So, here I am to share… TRUTH 1: While recovery is NOT linear, you are always moving forward. Each moment takes you closer to recovery. TRUTH […]

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the power of a photo in recovery

I really don’t want to publish this post. But if I want to be open about what anorexia recovery looks like, it includes this. One photo almost took me down… Roommate and I discovered that we were dressed exactly alike on Sunday night, thought it was funny (like how people who live together start to […]

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Under the Surface: Ana’s 13 Reasons Why.

I watched both seasons of the controversial Netflix original series, 13 Reasons Why. I agreed with a lot of it, actually. I don’t believe in blaming others for my choices, which the main character did, but I do believe that when enough crap piles on top of more crap, the result is an avalanche that […]

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Recovery Roller Coaster.

My least favorite ride is the Recovery Roller Coaster. Up and down goes the Recovery Roller Coaster. One day I’m UP. Eating three meals and two snacks (my latest directive from Kristen, my dietitian/therapist/all-the-things extraordinaire). I have even wondered some days if I’ve eaten intuitively that day…and then wondered if it’s intuitive if I have […]

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What do you want to read?

Ideas ruminating for posts…what intrigues YOU most to read? Leave yours in the comments! You can’t be brave without being scared My body is an instrument, not an ornament Body Neutral (the new Body Positive) Genes load the gun and environment pulls the trigger I’m not sick enough to write this I AM Jesse’s Girl […]

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The real deal on recovery.

What’s tricky about this blog is that most people who go public consider themselves “recovered” or at least beyond the throes of their eating disorder. In contrast, I am quite deep in it. So my goal with this site is to be authentic and honest about what recovery looks like…without being super negative. So, what […]

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The best frenemy there ever was. And I do mean, WAS.

My scale has been a significant and constant friend and foe for sixteen years. It has been Ana’s greatest weapon against me. Ana has used her scale weapon to determine whether my day will be good or bad, what and how much I am allowed to eat, whether I have any worth or am lovable. […]

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Happening Now: Peggy v. Ana – The Battle of the Bagel

Location: Starbucks, Seattle WA Time: 3:00pm (afternoon snack time) In one corner: Peggy, a 40 year old female with a husband and toddler, in the throes of recovery from anorexia and depression. In the opposite corner, Ana, the eating disorder who has stolen sixteen years of Peggy’s life. In the middle: a plain Starbucks bagel […]

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What matters.

What’s been my biggest security blanket/enemy in my relationship with Ana? The scale. For nine months, JJ and my best friend, as well as my treatment team, have begged me to get rid of it and I refused. Today, I told Jesse to get rid of it, and here’s why. For months, I weighed myself methodically […]

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