the power of a photo in recovery

I really don’t want to publish this post. But if I want to be open about what anorexia recovery looks like, it includes this. One photo almost took me down… Roommate and I discovered that we were dressed exactly alike on Sunday night, thought it was funny (like how people who live together start to look more like each other – or their pets) and took the picture on the right. She asked if she could post it on FB and without seeing it first, I said sure. When I saw the tagged Facebook photo, my heart dropped and my…

Under the Surface: Ana’s 13 Reasons Why.

I watched both seasons of the controversial Netflix original series, 13 Reasons Why. I agreed with a lot of it, actually. I don’t believe in blaming others for my choices, which the main character did, but I do believe that when enough crap piles on top of more crap, the result is an avalanche that can end in a huge disaster of loss. In treatment for the last ten months, I have met with two individual therapists, three group therapists, two dietitians, two doctors, two psychiatrists, and countless other nurses and staff who specialize in eating disorders. Focus for a…

Recovery Roller Coaster.

My least favorite ride is the Recovery Roller Coaster. Up and down goes the Recovery Roller Coaster. One day I’m UP. Eating three meals and two snacks (my latest directive from Kristen, my dietitian/therapist/all-the-things extraordinaire). I have even wondered some days if I’ve eaten intuitively that day…and then wondered if it’s intuitive if I have to ask? Isn’t intuitive by definition something that just happens naturally? Then I go DOWN. When I look in the mirror right now, I see a big tummy and big legs. My top half is still okay but bigger than it was. I miss seeing…

What do you want to read?

Ideas ruminating for posts…what intrigues YOU most to read? Leave yours in the comments! You can’t be brave without being scared My body is an instrument, not an ornament Body Neutral (the new Body Positive) Genes load the gun and environment pulls the trigger I’m not sick enough to write this I AM Jesse’s Girl Fat is not a feeling I have a fear of telling you my fear foods Hi, I’m Peggy and I’m anorexic. (Hi, Peggy.) A spectacular failure Other?  

The real deal on recovery.

What’s tricky about this blog is that most people who go public consider themselves “recovered” or at least beyond the throes of their eating disorder. In contrast, I am quite deep in it. So my goal with this site is to be authentic and honest about what recovery looks like…without being super negative. So, what does recovery really look like? That. I like to be really good at things or I tend to not keep doing them. I played this game called “futsal” that was a combination of basketball and soccer. I hate basketball and soccer so I don’t know…