Ana’s Reason 12.

Series: Under the Surface – Ana’s 13 Reasons Why A series of posts uncovering what is really beneath my anorexia and depression. Reason 1: Genetic Temperament Traits Reason 2: Inheritance Reason 3: My parents’ marriage. And divorce. And remarriage. To each other. Reason 4: Genes load the gun. Environment pulls the trigger. Reason 5: Mama dies. Reason 6: Unrequited Love. Repeatedly. Reason 7: I never left college. Reason 8: I went from only child/grandchild to orphan in three months. Reason 9: Stuck in Seattle. Reason 10: Friendless. Reason 11: 2600 miles from family and framily. Reason 12. All things post-partum….

Ana’s Reasons 9-11.

For two reasons, I’m combining Ana’s Reasons 9-11: They feel super intertwined to the point that I’m not sure how to write separate posts about them, yet they feel distinct enough to warrant each being a reason. I’m getting tired of this series and ready to move on. I’m not sure anymore that  ruminating on all the whys of Ana is helpful, and in fact, may be starting to become detrimental to my recovery. Series: Under the Surface – Ana’s 13 Reasons Why A series of posts uncovering what is really beneath my anorexia and depression. Reason 1: Genetic Temperament…

Ana’s Reason 6.

Series: Under the Surface – Ana’s 13 Reasons Why A series of posts uncovering what is really beneath my anorexia and depression. Reason 1: Genetic Temperament Traits Reason 2: Inheritance Reason 3: My parents’ marriage. And divorce. And remarriage. To each other. Reason 4: Genes load the gun. Environment pulls the trigger. Reason 5: Mama dies. Reason 6. Unrequited Love. Repeatedly. Not long ago, I posted a vignette about my first crush and how he asked me to eat lunch with him, but I was too shy and said no and he moved away and then moved back and became…

Ana’s Reason 3.

Series: Under the Surface – Ana’s 13 Reasons Why A series of posts uncovering what is really beneath my anorexia and depression. Reason 1: Genetic Temperament Traits Reason 2: Inheritance Reason 3: My parents’ marriage. And divorce. And remarriage. To each other. MAKE A DECISION. These people couldn’t decide if they wanted to be together or not. Marriage – Attempt 1 (1975-1986) In 1975, they got married on October 11th. As far as I remember, they had a strained marriage. They were as different as possible: Mama – emotional, hot tempered, depressed (like, really), fierce, determined, kept changing everything around…

Ana’s Reason 2.

Series: Under the Surface – Ana’s 13 Reasons Why A series of posts uncovering what is really beneath my anorexia and depression. Reason 1: Genetic Temperament Traits Reason 2: Inheritance. Anyone else think they inherited a lot of who they are from their parents? Maybe hair color, eye color, body shape? For me, I can identify those things and also a few more. Each of my parents had a host of both mental and physical illnesses. As I have explored the whys of Ana, I have to think that my parents passed down at least some of it to me….

Under the Surface: Ana’s 13 Reasons Why.

I watched both seasons of the controversial Netflix original series, 13 Reasons Why. I agreed with a lot of it, actually. I don’t believe in blaming others for my choices, which the main character did, but I do believe that when enough crap piles on top of more crap, the result is an avalanche that can end in a huge disaster of loss. In treatment for the last ten months, I have met with two individual therapists, three group therapists, two dietitians, two doctors, two psychiatrists, and countless other nurses and staff who specialize in eating disorders. Focus for a…