What matters.

What’s been my biggest security blanket/enemy in my relationship with Ana? The scale. For nine months, JJ and my best friend, as well as my treatment team, have begged me to get rid of it and I refused.┬áToday, I told Jesse to get rid of it, and here’s why. For months, I weighed myself methodically…

1 step forward; 13.1 miles back.

This past weekend, a close friend from college visited. It was awesome to have someone visit with whom I could be completely honest and open. We had some great conversations, and I made some food leaps during her visit. But for all the progress I may have made, Ana started FREAKING OUT (reminder: Ana is…

Recovery Reading Recommendations.

Since January, I have been an avid reader of just about anything related to eating disorders, anorexia, body image, and recovery. This is my (continuously growing) list of book recommendations:  

THE NUMBER.

The first weekend pass that I went to my house, I didn’t think to weigh myself. I can’t believe it. JJ brought it up after the fact and I was shocked I hadn’t thought of it. Be sure, though, that it didn’t leave my mind from that moment until my next opportunity. JJ had hidden…