My body, an heirloom

Sonalee Rashatwar, a sex therapist and fat activist, was a guest on Christy Harrison’s (and my favorite) podcast, Food Psych, recently (episode 180, check it out). I was listening along, it was all very interesting, when Sonalee says: I consider my body as an heirloom. Have you ever thought of your body as a family heirloom? I have tried to explain on this blog the pervasive sense of loss and feeling of being alone that have resulted from the deaths of my parents and grandparents, without having any siblings. I have come up short every time. Twenty-one years of loss…

Anorexia & Alcoholism Recovery – same or different?

I have never been an alcoholic, so add a few grains of salt to this post, but over the past year I have thought a lot about how recovery from alcoholism and anorexia have many similarities and one huge difference. I watch the CBS sitcom, Mom, starring Allison Janney and Anna Faris. Quick plug: this show is unbelievably clever and no one talks about it! Alison and Anna are amazing together. A mom (Janney) and daughter (Faris) are both recovering alcoholics. The show follows their very complicated relationship, as well as their journeys in sobriety, and currently centers on the…

Under the Surface: Ana’s 13 Reasons Why.

I watched both seasons of the controversial Netflix original series, 13 Reasons Why. I agreed with a lot of it, actually. I don’t believe in blaming others for my choices, which the main character did, but I do believe that when enough crap piles on top of more crap, the result is an avalanche that can end in a huge disaster of loss. In treatment for the last ten months, I have met with two individual therapists, three group therapists, two dietitians, two doctors, two psychiatrists, and countless other nurses and staff who specialize in eating disorders. Focus for a…

Recovery Roller Coaster.

My least favorite ride is the Recovery Roller Coaster. Up and down goes the Recovery Roller Coaster. One day I’m UP. Eating three meals and two snacks (my latest directive from Kristen, my dietitian/therapist/all-the-things extraordinaire). I have even wondered some days if I’ve eaten intuitively that day…and then wondered if it’s intuitive if I have to ask? Isn’t intuitive by definition something that just happens naturally? Then I go DOWN. When I look in the mirror right now, I see a big tummy and big legs. My top half is still okay but bigger than it was. I miss seeing…

Happening Now: Peggy v. Ana – The Battle of the Bagel

Location: Starbucks, Seattle WA Time: 3:00pm (afternoon snack time) In one corner: Peggy, a 40 year old female with a husband and toddler, in the throes of recovery from anorexia and depression. In the opposite corner, Ana, the eating disorder who has stolen sixteen years of Peggy’s life. In the middle: a plain Starbucks bagel with (gasp!) CREAM CHEESE. A hush falls over the crowd. Both fierce competitors, the bagel stands innocently between Peggy and Ana waiting for his demise. Either way, he will be destroyed, either by a digestive system or the compost bin. Having been at the Starbucks…