I knit now.

One of my roommates, who discharged last Friday and was totally awesome, started teaching me how to knit. As part of my recovery, I have a goal to pick up some new hobbies and interests. It’s a way of getting to know myself again and developing other things I can value about myself than my […]

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Meal Mantras.

We discussed meal mantras in a session that we can use to help us get through meals. These were some of my favorites: Full does not equal fat. Food helps me focus. Eat like a child. Choose the functionality path and don’t look back. Identify parts of me that want recovery for myself (not others).

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Do you think that’s healthy?

Breakfast. Sitting with 3 other clients (staff member had not joined our table yet). I’m putting peanut butter on my eggo waffle. Client next to me says, “Do you really think that’s healthy?” (towards my peanut butter on my waffle). I was caught totally off guard. Food judgments is NOT something we do here. But […]

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Le weekend.

As a level 3, I had passes for the weekend. My first time to leave this place, other than one trip to Fred Meyer last weekend. On Saturday, we went to our parents group’s 2nd birthday party. All 8 families were able to attend, so there were 16 adults and 8 ~2 year old kids. […]

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Level up.

As I mentioned in a previous post, everyone enters here at Level 2. Recently, I was given the wonderful news that I leveled up, which has really helped me be in a better mood. I can now: Go to the bathroom without an EDT, and FLUSH without anyone checking. This has been the most life-changing thing […]

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Struggle bus.

On the struggle bus to destination Recovery, I’ve had a few unwanted passengers lately. With ED driving as usual, I’m riding in the first seat with some “friends”. Struggle Friend #1: Isolation – I’ve only let Husband and Daughter visit me. A couple of others have checked in but I’ve avoided having them visit. A […]

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Slow and steady.

I’ve been at residential for 8 days. The whole ride to the treatment center from home (a whopping 15 minutes) I wondered if I should call it quits and turn back around. Going to “residential” sounded so scary. But with my daughter’s face in my mind, I knew I had to get help and continue […]

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#mommystrong

A friend sent me a Huffington blog post: Mommy, Do You want to be Skinny? My 23 month old daughter is one of my primary motivations to recover. If I can get this thing nipped in the bud, she may have no memory of Mama’s body image issues or eating disorder. I want to be […]

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Hi ho, hi ho.

It’s off to residential I go. A spot has opened and insurance has approved so I will check into residential on Monday, two days after my 40th birthday. At this point, even I think it’s probably for the best. My disordered behavior reared it’s very ugly head this week. Here’s a recap: Last Tuesday: went […]

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