You can’t be brave if you aren’t scared.

A quote I heard six months ago that stuck in my brain since, from one of the best movies I’d seen in a long time: Maybe I’m the only one, but I suspect not. 8th grade was AWKWARD. I spent most of it being scared, but not brave. Because that’s also accurate: You can be scared and not brave. Watch this trailer for the movie. Take a couple of minutes. I bet you’ll see yourself, to some degree, in her story. You can just live in the fear and let it overwhelm and suffocate you. I’ve done this for a…

After 40 years, God showed up.

So, Jesus and me. We have had a long and winding journey. I followed Jesus as a Christian for 15 years, from age 14-29. Highlights of this time include: Being at church 5-7 days per week during high school Going to a tiny Baptist university in Arkansas Going to Africa as a missionary for two years after college Working at a Baptist college after returning to the States Being a “small group” leader (the group grew to 30) and mentor to younger Christians I mean, I was IN IT, y’all. I wore shirts like this: I was Christian. I could…

Grit and Growth Mindset for Anorexia Recovery

As a higher education professional for 15 years, I have learned a thing or two about two concepts that are HUGE in the world of student success: grit and growth mindset. I’ve been working hard to develop a workshop for my students on Resilience, Grit, and Growth Mindset and realized, “Oh…I should probably practice what I preach.” Alas, those who can’t do…teach. And there it was: the enemy of the growth mindset – the word “can’t.” A couple of quick definitions so we’re on the same page: Grit – passion and perseverance for long-term goals, a concept by Angela Duckworth;…

Treatment friends and empathy.

On my anorexia recovery journey, I spent 3 weeks in a daytime treatment program and 6 weeks in a residential treatment program in 2018. On my first day in the day program, during breakfast, I thought I had entered a looney bin. And I didn’t belong there. I learned more about empathy in those 9 weeks than I have in my entire life. Your family doesn’t get it. Your closest friends don’t get it. They all misfire accidentally or (even worse) intentionally in their attempts to spur you on to a recovered self. But treatment friends, people who have never…

Anorexia & Alcoholism Recovery – same or different?

I have never been an alcoholic, so add a few grains of salt to this post, but over the past year I have thought a lot about how recovery from alcoholism and anorexia have many similarities and one huge difference. I watch the CBS sitcom, Mom, starring Allison Janney and Anna Faris. Quick plug: this show is unbelievably clever and no one talks about it! Alison and Anna are amazing together. A mom (Janney) and daughter (Faris) are both recovering alcoholics. The show follows their very complicated relationship, as well as their journeys in sobriety, and currently centers on the…

The power of a doughnut.

Last March, I went to Las Vegas for a conference. I was at my deepest point in anorexia, at my lowest weight and terrified of everything. My biggest fear about going to the conference was the food. What would I eat? Would I be able to stay disciplined? Could I possibly return home at the same weight or even less? The conference provided breakfast, lunch, and two snacks. I was there with two colleagues, who were excited to explore Vegas in the evenings. As soon as our flights were booked, I started planning each day, each meal. Breakfast was easy….

Mamaritas

Last night, I went out for “Mamaritas,” my friend’s term for a group of moms going out for margaritas. In order to go, I had to do some things that I’m not accustomed to: Commit about 10 days in advance Hire a babysitter for LK (the first one ever) Stay up past 8:30pm Socialize in a normal setting I seriously contemplated backing out up until about an hour before. I really wanted to be in my pajamas and sleep. I wasn’t sure what I would eat. I was pretty sure I would be awkward. I prepped myself with a bowl…