My scale has been a significant and constant friend and foe for sixteen years. It has been Ana’s greatest weapon against me. Ana has used her scale weapon to determine whether my day will be good or bad, what and how much I am allowed to eat, whether I have any worth or am lovable. The scale held me accountable, as I wouldn’t eat knowing I had to face it the next morning. My scale sometimes liked to keep me on my toes by flashing higher numbers before settling on an error message. Ana convinced me to bring the scale with me on vacation once, to keep me in line. However, the scale didn’t survive the trip. I was panicked until Ana reminded me that while she was irreplaceable, I could (and should) buy another scale immediately.
Since January, JJ, every dietitian, therapist and medical doctor, as well as my best friend have told me that the scale had to go. I nodded but knew it was never going to happen.
Last Sunday, I mentioned a couple of tragedies have befallen loved ones this past week. One of them in particular has been poignant in my recovery journey, providing a complete reshaping in my mind of who I am and what is important. And with that reshaping, it had to finally happen…
The destruction of my scale.
JJ and I decided to make it an event, as it was a monumental milestone for me in recovery. It was also a teaching opportunity for LK, which she may or may not remember but as her parents, it is our responsibility to instill in her self-compassion, self-love, and self-trust. “Mommyscale” was becoming MommyStrong and she is a huge part of it.
Ready to DESTROY THE SCALE!!
I was nervous and excited. I wondered if I could really do it…and THEN…see for yourself how a person who has been addicted (that’s right, addicted) to her scale for SIXTEEN years destroys it in about 10 seconds…
I would say RIP, Scale. But I wouldn’t mean it.
#mommystrong and #daughterstrong are CONQUERORS!