Life without Ana.

Miracle Question (from a skills group this week):

Imagine that you go to sleep tonight like normal but then overnight POOF something happens and when you wake up, Ana is gone. How do I know she is gone? What is the evidence?

I would wake up and not have to immediately weigh myself (3x to make sure it’s accurate). I would maybe have a few fleeting thoughts about my appearance as I got ready in the bathroom. I would choose an outfit based on what I like to wear, not the size or worry I will look fat in it. I would eat breakfast.

When I got to work, I would enjoy talking with co-workers without comparing how I look to them, and maybe not comparing in other areas too (how smart they are and I am not). I could have a morning snack if I got hungry. I could focus on my work because I’m not thinking about food constantly.

If someone wanted to go to lunch, I would happily go and enjoy the food I order based on authentic preference. I would not compare my meal to the other person’s.

Having a nice lunch, I could then concentrate on my work in the afternoon. I could go to a colleague’s birthday celebration without worrying about having to eat cake. I could enjoy a piece of cake because I like it.

After work, I could go for a jog because it’s a nice day and feels good to move, not because I need to burn off calories I’ve consumed.

I could go home and cook dinner for my family without getting worn out. I could eat what they eat without modifying it.

I have energy to play with my daughter and give her a bath. I would be nourished so I would be pleasant and calm with my husband. The evening is fun.

After my daughter is in bed and husband continues to work at home as he often does, I could watch TV and knit. Or I could read, color, or journal. I could have a snack if I wanted one based on my hunger and what sounds good.

I could go to bed not thinking about food, weight, my body and enjoy better sleep.

Posted by

In recovery from anorexia and depression as a 40 year old wife and mom of a toddler. Discovering who I am and hoping to help others along the way!

Leave a Reply