Fluctuating = Progress?

I have an annual event at work that I organize. It’s 2.5 days, bringing in prospective students to the PhD program I manage from all over the country to interview with our faculty and show off our program. It’s intense. And it involves a lot of food.

I overate both days of the main event. I also exercised for an hour on our treadmill at 4.0 speed and 3.5 incline so a decent workout.

I gained a pound, 114. Then I lost it over the weekend when I settled back in, and was at 112.4 – my new low. Then I went to a Mexican restaurant because I didn’t know how to tell someone I didn’t want to go to a Mexican restaurant. And found myself back at 113.4, where it all started before the event.

Is fluctuation progress? I am exactly the weight I was 12 days ago at my last counselor and doctor appointment. So I haven’t lost, but I haven’t gained like they want either.

I want to lose. I liked the 112.4. The 113.4 now feels fat and I can feel my stomach protruding.

Now, they are having cake at work for someone who is leaving for another job. Why does everything in this world have to revolve around food? I’m taking my diet Coke in hopes that I can nurse that and avoid overeating on cake.

I love cake.

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In recovery from anorexia and depression as a 40 year old wife and mom of a toddler. Discovering who I am and hoping to help others along the way!

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