When my boss first saw me this morning, he asked if I felt alright and said I looked pale. I do feel light-headed right now. I wonder if this is the beginning of some of the physical symptoms of anorexia when it gets far enough down the road.

Secretly? I take comfort in seeing some of these signs. It’s working.

And the number this morning? 119.2. Ah, the teens.

I have been talking to my husband about all this. But no one else (except the nutritional counselor I saw). He says he’s afraid if he says too much, I will get angry. If I tell anyone else, they will try to fix me. And I don’t want to be fixed. I want to want to be fixed. Kind of.

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