A new low.

This morning, the scale said 119.4.

I was surprised. Happy. Worried it wouldn’t last.

I have eaten somewhere between 600-800 calories most days for about 3 weeks. It’s actually much more sustainable than I thought it would be:

Breakfast: hot tea (0 calories)

Lunch: Juice Plus shake with almond milk (175 calories)

Snack: maybe a piece of candy (20-80 calories), a diet Coke

Dinner: some variation that is around 100-200 calories (a piece of fish and vegetable, spaghetti squash with marinara have been a couple of good options)

Snack: low calorie ice cream with fat-free whipped cream (200 calories)

I’m very worried about some upcoming trips though. How will I keep my weight down while out of town and with friends?

I scheduled an appointment with a nutritional counselor for Monday. I’m very nervous. A part of me knows I probably need help at this point, but another (bigger) part of me isn’t ready for change. I fear that change will mean forcing me to eat more calories, which will make me gain weight.

My poor husband. I act pretty awful to him, particularly on days when the scale says something I don’t like. He is amazing. Kind. Supportive. Patient. I don’t deserve him.

 

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In recovery from anorexia and depression as a 40 year old wife and mom of a toddler. Discovering who I am and hoping to help others along the way!

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